Carrie Alexander - Count on a Cop Page 17

Proximity? Who was he kidding?

  They had incredible electricity. Plus, they genuinely liked each other. They’d connected, regardless of his reluctance.

  But he was throwing that away, and why? Out of his fear of taking on responsibility for another person when he’d already failed so badly. On the job, and with Josh.

  Sean put down his coffee. “You see, Pippa, I don’t get to spend a lot of time with Josh, and just now, it’s especially important that I do. That doesn’t mean that I never want to see you two again.” Connie moved to the window. She had her arms wrapped around herself, as she stared at the condensation beading the leaded glass. “Only that we take it slow.”

  Pippa licked the rim of her mug. “I don’t get what you mean. I don’t go fast, except on my bike.”

  Connie came to life. She stood. She laughed, too brightly. “You’ll understand someday, kiddo.”

  Sean walked to the door. “Thanks for the coffee.”

  “Thanks for checking things out. I wouldn’t have slept if you hadn’t.” She dropped her voice. “It was like you said?”

  “Yes. Domestic disturbance.”

  “Bad?”

  “Par for the course, according to the housekeeper.” Sean glanced at Pippa, who was watching them over the back of the sofa. “Nothing for your girl to get involved in.”

  “I’ll try to explain the situation to her.”

  Sean opened the door and looked outside. The fog had lifted enough that he’d be able to see his way back to Pine Cone Cottage. But he didn’t want to leave without making some kind of overture. “I wanted to say—”

  “Don’t forget this.” Connie handed him the bag from the general store.

  He didn’t know if she’d interrupted him on purpose. “I wanted to say—”

  “You don’t have to. I understand.”

  “They why won’t you look at me?”

  Her head snapped back and she stared at him, eyes blazing out of her white face. “There. Happy?”

  “Not until you are.”

  A slow shake of her head. “Sean. We had bad timing. That’s all. I can handle it. I might not be happy at the moment, but I’m not angry.”

  He started to protest and she stopped him. “I get it. I have a child of my own who needs my attention.” She put her fingertips against his chest and gave him a push. “Your instincts were right. I sincerely thank you for easing Pippa’s mind, but do us all a favor and go on back to Josh.”

  IN THE MIDDLE of a Fantastic Four ass-kicking, Sean reached over to the popcorn bowl balanced on Josh’s chest and took a handful. “You like this movie?”

  “Eh. It’s okay. I’ve seen it before.”

  “You should have told me.”

  Josh shrugged. “I can watch it again.”

  “Would you prefer Reign of Fire? There was a limited selection at Lattimer’s.”

  “Fire-breathing dragons.” Josh made a gesture that seemed to indicate approval. “Let’s save it for later.”

  Sean munched. Minutes passed before he spoke again. “I stopped at the Bradfords’ place.”

  Silence.

  He gauged the nonresponse as relatively normal. Josh’s first, intense reaction to seeing his dad in a compromising position had eased into wariness. “The fog had spooked them.”

  “Girls,” Josh scoffed.

  “Pippa was out in it. Curious as a cat, that one.”

  “Yeah, tell me about it. During Pirates, she was going on and on about some stupid made-up buried treasure. I had to tune her out.”

  Buried treasure? Sean stopped, his hand halfway to his mouth, losing a piece of popcorn between the cushions of the couch. How did buried treasure fit in with the voices at the maze and the scream in the fog?

  In Pippa’s mind, he supposed it might. “She believes she’s onto a mystery.”

  Josh tossed a kernel at the TV screen. “Dumb kid.”

  After a while, Sean said, “She’s actually pretty smart for a ten-year-old.”

  Josh put the popcorn bowl and his feet on the coffee table. “Yeah?”

  “I’ve gotten to know her fairly well in the past week. Mrs. Bradford, too.”

  “Huh.”

  Sean waited, but that was his son’s only reply. “About last night…” he started.

  Josh screwed up his face. “Gross, Dad. I don’t want to hear it.”

  “You seemed upset.”

  “Yeah, well, I wasn’t.”

  “I’m not abandoning you for her, if that’s what you think.”

  “Whatever.” Josh scowled. Color flared in his cheeks, and Sean remembered how mortifying any reference to his own parents’ love life had been.

  “I just wanted you to know that.”

  Josh’s knees jounced. “She’s your girlfriend, then?”

  “Not really.” Sean hesitated. Connie deserved more than that; he hadn’t forgotten her reaction to being called a distraction. “But I’m interested in her. Maybe something will develop, down the road. After we’ve got you sorted out. Would you hate that?”

  “You said—” Josh shook his head. “On the ferry, you said you wanted me to stay. But I’m just in the way.”

  “You’re never in the way. Never.”

  Josh scoffed. “I am at home. No big deal.”

  “I’ve always wanted you.” Sean took the risk and draped an arm around his son’s bony shoulders. “Sometimes I nearly forgot how much, but that was a mistake. A bad one. It won’t happen again, even if there is a woman in my life.”

  Josh’s shoulders tensed. He shifted on the couch, but he didn’t withdraw. “Yeah, well, I guess that maze thing sounds kind of cool,” he eventually said. “I’d check that out. For, like, five minutes.”

  Sean leaped at the chance to get them all together. “I’ll see if Connie—Mrs. Bradford—will give us that tour she mentioned.”

  “Connie,” Josh echoed with a smirk. “You really like her, huh?”

  “Yes.” Sean eyed his son obliquely. “What did you think of her, aside from that one embarrassing moment I won’t mention again?”

  The nervous twitch had moved to Josh’s toes. His feet seemed to have grown inches since their last visit. “I s’pose she’s okay.”

  “Just okay?”

  “Kinda cute. For a mom.”

  “Uh, yeah.” Not an area he’d explore with his son.

  “But you could be dating a hot young chick,” Josh blurted. “I mean, if you have to. I see gnarly old dudes doing that all the time where I live.”

  Sean blinked. He’d thought Connie was a hot young chick. “In case you forgot, I’m forty. That may be triple your age, but I’m not ready for gnarly old dude status yet.” He chuckled. “And I wouldn’t be looking for hot young chicks either way.”

  Josh stared at the movie. A hot young chick was shooting fire from her fingertips.

  Sean waited a few minutes for the extinguishers to be brought in. “So, about Mrs. Bradford. Are you okay with it?”

  Josh’s feet waggled. “What does it matter?” He buried his chin in his chest and glowered at the screen. “I’ll only be here for a month.”

  Sean winced. “Your opinion is important to me, even when you’re not here.”

  “Yeah, sure.” Josh shifted position. “Really?”

  “Really.”

  “Even though you had a good thing going until I showed up and wrecked it?”

  Sean tensed and immediately felt it in his thigh, like a needle pricking his conscience. Dammit.

  “That is not what I was trying to say, Josh. You’re top priority. Always. In case you didn’t get it the first time, I’m not looking to dump you in favor of a woman. All I wanted to know was if you had a problem with me seeing someone. Not hot and heavy, but, you know, once in a while.”

  Josh seemed to give the question actual thought. But he said flatly, “Do what you want.”

  “No. I don’t let you do whatever you want, do I? I’m the adult here, but I still want your…” not permission, not eve
n consent “…your approval, I guess.”

  Josh looked askance. “So if I said no, you’d stop seeing her?”

  “Possibly. If you had good reason and weren’t just being bratty.”

  The boy grinned. “Like when I tried to get Mom to stop from going out with Bruce by setting off a stink bomb in his car?”

  “I’d forgotten that story.” Sean laughed. “Well, you were only six. I hope you’ve matured since then.” He put his feet up on the coffee table. “But, yeah, like that.”

  They settled back into the movie. Five minutes later, Josh nudged his father’s foot. “If you hafta hook up, give me a warning first. And don’t ditch me with that Pippa.”

  “Be nice to her.”

  Josh sighed. “Okay. Maybe once in a while, I can make the sacrifice.”

  “Very kind of you.”

  Josh made a bashful face. “It’s nothing.”

  Emotion had closed Sean’s throat. “But, you know, even without a woman, I’m not alone. I have a son.” He thought again of the little boy whose father had died at his hand, and how that had haunted him, in the hospital and beyond. No wonder. “You’re not alone, either, as long as you have me.”

  Josh ducked his head. When he raised it, there were two spots of color high on his cheekbones. He squinted at the TV. “Sheesh, you’re getting corny. Grandpa warned me that you’ve been all introspective and mushy since you got shot.”

  “Being shot tends to make a person reevaluate.” Sean slung his arm higher around Josh’s neck and knuckled his head. “I’m glad you approve of Connie. And I’m really glad to have you here early, even if I’m not too happy about the reason. Just remember what I said—the biggest mistake of my life was not always being there for you. I’m going to do better about that.” Sean breathed deeply, easing the tightness in his chest. “How’s that for mushy?”

  “Get off me.” Josh pulled away, laughing unevenly. His eyes were bright. He took off his baseball cap, brushed his hair down over his forehead and put the cap back on, tugging it low. “Boy, wait’ll Mom hears about this.”

  “What?”

  “All these years, I never met any of your girlfriends. I didn’t think you even had any. Mom always asks when I come back from a visit if there’s one yet.” Josh considered. “She might be kind of disappointed this time when I have to say yes.”

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  CONNIE SQUELCHED ASHORE in her water shoes and wet suit. She and Pippa, similarly attired, looked at each other ruefully and turned in unison to haul their kayaks onto the beach.

  Their morning had not been completely successful. In an effort to keep her daughter’s mind off Peregrine House, Connie had roused Pippa for an early clamming expedition. With rakes and buckets, they’d padded around the shore at low tide, digging countless holes until they were wet, muddy, stinking of seaweed and the proud owners of a truly meager collection of clams. Once Pippa had learned they were expected to cook and eat the slimy sea creatures, she’d pulled the Greenpeace card and had insisted they must set the clams free.

  After a large, hot breakfast served in the dining room of the Whitecap Inn, they’d returned to the harbor for a kayak lesson. Thus the wet suits. And Pippa’s dunking, when she’d leaned too far over the side to look for sea turtles. Luckily, she’d been only yards offshore and the instructor had immediately pulled her out of the cold water. But after that, Pippa would go no farther than a halfhearted paddle around the bay, shrieking with every wave that lapped at the kayak.

  “Maybe we should try sailing next.” Connie handed their paddles to the instructor. The honk of the late-morning ferry announced the arrival of a new group of tourists.

  Pippa’s teeth chattered. “Sure, Mom, but only if it’s warm water.”

  “On our next trip to the Bahamas,” Connie said with a laugh as they trudged toward the changing room. “Thanks for being a good sport, Pip. We’ve had a few exciting adventures on this trip, haven’t we? I’m actually sorry we leave tomorrow. It’s so soon.”

  Or not soon enough. Sometimes a woman had to go while the getting was good.

  Pippa squinted at the sun, which had made a welcome appearance, turning the morning sky from drab-gray to crystal-blue. “Couldn’t we stay longer?”

  Connie smoothed her daughter’s hair, which was springing into haphazard corkscrews as it dried. “Nope. It’s time to go.”

  “But Trixie never leaves until the mystery is solved.”

  “Then it’s good that we have no mystery to solve,” Connie said lightly. “Look, there’s Mr. Rafferty. And Josh.” She waved. “Ahoy, mateys!”

  “Gleeps,” Pippa muttered.

  The Raffertys were on wheels. They’d paused at the harbor road to watch the ferry passengers disembark. At Connie’s call, they pedaled over to the edge of the bank that rimmed the beach.

  The dazzling dance of sunshine on the water was electric. Although sunglasses hung around his neck, Sean shaded his eyes with his hand as he angled to look down toward Connie and Pippa. “What are you two up to?”

  “Kayaking.” Connie pointed to the brightly colored sea kayaks lined up in front of the water sports storefront. “Attempted kayaking.”

  Sean was looking her up and down. She became hot inside the skintight rubber suit. “Mrs. Limpet,” he said with a grin.

  She snorted. The description was, unfortunately, all too accurate. There might not be fins or scales, but she had a smoothly fishlike body and a human head erupting in a mop of out-of-control curls. “Gee, thanks. You couldn’t call me Ariel instead?”

  He dropped his gaze, too intent to reveal whether or not he got her Disney mermaid reference. “The porpoise suit looks good on you.”

  Suddenly Connie didn’t know where to put her hands. The wet suit was pretty revealing, and Sean wasn’t a man who missed much. “Um, what’s your plan for the day?” she blurted out, although she’d sworn to maintain the space between them.

  Sean glanced at his son. “Got any plans, Josh?”

  The boy was leaning low over his handlebars. “Nope.”

  “Lunch. Soon, I guess,” Sean said. “Then we’ll play it by ear. We’re hanging loose.”

  “Have a good day.” Connie turned away before she said too much. “Gotta go change.”

  Pippa motioned to her from her outpost at the shop, where she was half-hidden by the open changing room door. “Pssst.”

  “What?” Connie mouthed as she walked over.

  “The maze. You gotta invite them to the maze.”

  “I’m not—” Connie stopped. She had promised, sort of.

  Sean and Josh were getting ready to pedal away. “Hey, guys, wait a minute.” She crossed the pebbled flats and clambered up the rock-strewn bank. “Pippa wants me to invite you to visit the maze.”

  Hiding behind her daughter. Real adult, Mrs. Limpet.

  Sean’s eyebrows went up. “What do you think, Josh?”

  “Yeah, okay.”

  “How about this afternoon?” Sean took a drink from a sports bottle that had been attached to the bike, then handed it to Connie. “I was hoping to get the chance to talk to you anyway.”

  She avoided responding by taking a big swallow of water.

  “Talk,” said Josh out of the corner of his mouth. “Jeeeez.” He got back on his bike and pedaled past the row of stump posts that marked the drop-off to the beach.

  Connie felt herself blushing. She lowered the bottle and dabbed her mouth with the back of one hand. “What was that about?”

  Sean slid on his sunglasses. Either his color was high from physical exertion or he was blushing, too. “Josh and I had a little talk about us getting involved.”

  “Us?” Clearly, the water hadn’t washed away the frog in Connie’s throat. She coughed and tried again. “I mean, you and me? We’re not involved.”

  “Oh. I thought we were.”

  She was getting even more confused. “Not as of the other night.” The clammy wet suit clung to her skin. She inched the zipper down
. “Usually when I’m involved with a guy and he kisses me, he doesn’t follow up with an announcement that I’m only a distraction.”

  Sean clenched his jaw. “I said that? Ouch.”

  “Imagine how I felt.”

  “I didn’t mean it to sound so cold.”

  “I’m over it,” she insisted, too breezily. “Anyway, like I said, it’s okay. Or at least it’s understandable.” She glanced back to find Pippa, but she’d disappeared inside the shop. “Remember, my child needs me, too.”

  Connie handed Sean the water bottle. “Bad timing, that’s all this is. Really lousy timing.” She was working awfully hard to convince them both.

  His fingers brushed hers. “What if Josh gave us his approval? What if Pippa did?”

  “Approval for what?”

  “To see each other.”

  To fall in love. Despite the rising heat, Connie shivered. “Does approval really matter? We’re going home tomorrow, and you and Josh are staying here.”

  “Only until next Sunday. After that, we’ll be back in Holden. You and I don’t live that far apart. You even said that your clients are starting to come from all over the region, like the Sheffields.”

  “But I…”

  I’m busy enough as it is. Already spending too much time away from Pippa. It’s not the right moment for a serious relationship, and even if it was, I might not be smart to choose a man who plays hero for a living.

  Excuses, Connie thought. Only excuses.

  She remembered what Philip had said when they’d learned they were having a baby. They were strapped. He’d just been diagnosed, and was going to get worse before—if—he got better. She hadn’t dared speak it, but down deep she’d also been afraid that eventually she’d be raising their child on her own. She’d wanted his baby but had also felt certain that she was too young, too unprepared, too frightened to handle the reality of taking such a big step.

  Philip had said there were always reasons not to try something new and scary. But what would the world be if no one had the courage—and faith—to go ahead anyway?

  Connie squinted at Sean. “Josh gave his approval, huh?”

  A nod. “Also, I realized I was being a jerk.”